Friday, June 29, 2012

Much needed perspective

Having to be admitted to the ICU anytime we are here in the hospital is both a curse and a blessing.  A curse because it's loud, and light, and draining, but a blessing because it really gives me perspective when I need it.

Today I was getting upset, deflated, and down right mad with Dominic's fever and infection he has been having the last couple of days, which is prolonging our stay and making him pitiful.  On top of that the new equipment for the trach collar (the blue tube that gives cool mist to keep his lungs moist) was delivered.  There I was with a new BIG machine, loud, tethered once again, freedom taken away.  I hate that machine.  I was getting all upset, feeling sorry for myself, cursing the new unwelcome guest once again stealing our peace and freedom.  I was thinking when the respiratory therapist was telling me how important it was that it be on the floor, not backed against a wall about all the equipment we already have crammed into his little room.  Where exactly did she expect me to put it?  I needed to get the heck out of there.  So I left.

And that's when I got it: perspective.  down the hall there was a man standing in front of "the room"... the one they bring kids to, to well, pass.  The man was sobbing, his dad hugging him and the doctor was talking to him.  Next to him a little person (a sweet little girl with dwarfism whose mother I had befriended this morning and who I shared dinner with tonight) who had suffered a spinal stroke during surgery, paralyzed with a brain infection.  At the other end of the hall a teenager surrounded by 15 staff members, being intubated; walking down the hall a family, sobbing.  Next door to me a mother wailing.  Staff all around, calm but worry and alarm flashing in their eyes, some becoming aggitated, some running.  I had not seen the unit like this before, at least not with so many tragedies happening at once.

Immediately I felt ashamed for being so weighed down.  My "problems" seeming so small and insignificant.  Dominic is fine, alive, healthy... well, you know what I mean... acutely healthy.  Who cares if we're tethered part of the time!  I got a huge dose of perspective and remembered who I needed to be praising for this little saint and for our tiny trials.  It really makes you realize how your problems aren't that big... and lucky for us, when we're ready, He is always ready to fill that dark spot we created with light and thanksgiving.

Here's to a little dose of perspective.

In Jesus and Mary,

And because every post should have pictures...
Meet the future Bishops Jake, Anthony, and Dominic :)

After Easter Mass.  Yes, our daughter is quite a lady :/


  1. Sending prayers for D and for you mama! It's easy to lose perspective when there's a sick baby involved! Blessing to you and your family.
    Anita Hotard
    Tripp's Grammy

    1. Anita,
      Thank you so much for writing. I can't tell you how often I think about Tripp and your daughter. Your daughter has been such an inspirtaion to me. Sweet baby Tripp had such a powerful purpose in this life and it's my belief that we are allowed to escape the suffering of this world when our work is done. He did his work and was rewarded with eternity. I hurt for your daughter and your family. Please know (and tell her too) that there are people all over the world sharing in your families burdens.
      God Bless y'all.