Maybe it's the admission for 2 weeks after the surgery that has me feeling this way. As you may know (but I'm sure won't believe :) I have a sort of reputation with Mike about becoming a certain less-known green super hero when I'm at the hospital... that's right folks, he calls me She Hulk. So, in the spirit of charity, I have been praying constantly for graces to not morph into the gamma-ray saturated character. My problem is I am always expecting a fight, which more often than not I get, so I automatically go into defensive mode when I cross the threshold of Cooks. Not this time though. I am going to try my very, very best to be gracious and charitable, and kill them with kindness.
I've been reading St. Thereses' "Story of a Soul" lately and it is helping me to mentally prepare. If only I had 1/1,000,000 of her charity and humility! She saw her crosses (which were major) as blessings to be able to unite closer with Christ, AND she was truly joyful about having them. I feel like a stubborn fish who won't stay in the fish tank. Constantly jumping out, floundering on the ground, until I am inevitably rescued and gently placed back in, only to enjoy the warm waters briefly before I start it all over again. This time, I will keep this book close, hide myself in the Sacred Heart, and try to be like The Little Flower (St. Therese) and be spiritually little. How can Dominic do his important work of preaching when I'm the one everyone is looking at (because they think I'm crazy)? [Side note: Dominic is named after St. Dominic who founded the Dominican order, the Order of Preachers... fitting ehh?]
So my dear friends, please pray for us this go-around. Pray that Dominic's surgery goes well, that invading the scar tissue that is holding the tacks that hold his intestines in the right place don't weaken, that he handles the anesthesia well, that the MRI has good news for us. Pray for him to be able to wean from the vent, at least for a few hours a day, for the other kids that they will handle this separation time well, for our whole family whom this sort of thing affects greatly, and for me... that I won't be a wretched She-Hulk but instead be an avenue of grace and humility that others can see His goodness through.
This is gonna be a long 2 weeks...
Jesus, I trust in you.