Not strong, horizontal

We don't have a nurse tonight so Mike and I are taking turns staying up with Dominic.  As you can see, it's my turn.  I've been sitting here in his room since 1 this morning and from the view of the nurses rocking chair, I see his bed, his shelves full of his medical supplies, his ventilator, tubes peeking under his bumper pads, his big oxygen tank, his feeding pump... and it made me realize something.  Since all of this has started people have told us how amazing we are.  It always makes me cringe, because we're just normal.  Sitting here looking at all of this stuff makes me realize how much harder it is to be faithful, to be inspired, to be trusting when your life is just normal.  When things are right side up, and your eyes are looking straight ahead, it takes effort to look up to heaven.  For us, being knocked down, we are on our backs, requiring no extra energy to look up.  It is the stronger ones that don't need something like this to stay faithful; they have the strength to make that extra effort.  For us, what else can we do but to look up?  God has given us a gift, a pass of sorts, a time to focus on Him, trust in Him, and rely on Him to bring us upright again.  Not too soon though, I'm not quite ready.