For any of you who have known me for any amount of time, you may know that I have a reputation, in my former life as a teenager, to be a bit, say, rebellious. Now I am tempted to defend myself against that judgement but I know if I did my momma would hack into this blog and set the record straight, so I'll come out and say it right here: I was rebellious. My total disdain for authority and everything mainstream used to get me into all sorts of trouble, made for alot of time being grounded, and no doubt caused my poor parents all sorts of stress (sorry 'bout that). And until recently I saw no use for this drive within me at all (except for possibly self-mortification by fighting the urge to abandon my duties). But now, I see that perhaps God did have a purpose when he placed that within me; perhaps it was for my children, especially Dominic.
I have a natural uneasiness for authority (not church authority because I know they have the truth, but doctor authority whose "truth" can be legitimately questioned). I think this is why I ask doctors 'why' so much and challenge the response 'because that's how we do it.' I also think this is why I get so worked up with the real food issue, and why I even thought to question the mainstream recommendations in the first place. I also think this has alot to do with why I am still pumping (have I mentioned I REALLY want to stop??). Although I know it is the best nutrition for him, I have this urge to prove to the naysayers that I can do it (you'd be surprised, while everyone has been supportive of it, are all sort of shocked to hear I pump still and give me the 'formula is okay you know" speal). So I'm channeling my rebellious nature into something good and productive... giving milk for sweet D.
So finally, I have found my cause. It's good to know all those years of disorder can be wrapped up neatly knowing I am putting my rebelous nature to good use. Lets just pray Mary Grace takes after Mike, not me in that respect :/.
**And on a side note, my intention in my real food crusade is not to make any parents who feed their special needs child formula to feel bad or guilty. I believe it is the responsibility of the medical community (which I am a part of as a PT) to recognize the value in real food for the defenseless and show them the same respect they would to their normally functioning patients (if I fed my normal kids only pedisure I would be sent to CPS I'm sure). So, please, all you medical moms and dads out there, this is not aimed at you since I know you already see your child as having great purpose, but at those whose job it is to educate the families on how to take care of our kids. To bring to light the mantra they unknowingly preach that diabled kids don't deserve what normal kids do.**