Thanks, but...

How do you say you are so thankful for something while at the same time being so tired of that same thing?  I consider it such a grace given by God to be able to pump and feed Dominic exclusively breastmilk from birth, especially seeing as he takes zero by mouth.  I know this is such a gift... But can I just say how tired I am of it?  It's like I praise God with one side of my mouth while the other side complains.  Thank you, but I am so tired of pumping.  Thank you, but it never stops hurting.  Thank you because his little brain needs it, but I just want myself back.  Thank you, wish I could make a little more.  I am thankful for God's mercy... surely he pardons his unthankful daughter, right?

And on the topic I am obsessed with food.  Not for me, but for him.  I have just decided that until I can find a dietician that will be more helpful to me, I will learn everything there is to know about making my own homemade food that goes through his g-button.  I have been a Goggle-crazy momma.  I have e-mailed a dietician in Arizona asking if she would do a phone consultation.  We have turned in our medical discount form for our Vitamix.  I have found all I can on low sucrose veggies.  I am determined that he will eat real food. 

I don't really know how to end this because you see our nurse didn't come last night so I'm running on about 1 hour total of sleep.  Our day nurse just arrived so off to bed for me for a bit.

In Jesus and Mary,
Chasity